Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
