I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
