ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
