so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize