every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
