so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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