Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
