i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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