I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
