We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
