I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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