please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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