Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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