I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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