all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
