I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I think i got beer on your cat.
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