i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I have aggressive nipples.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
So. Much. Porn.
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