Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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