so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
