Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
She is in my trunk
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
