I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
