btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
