Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize