I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Welp...herpes.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Randomize
