I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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