Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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