i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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