I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
it's like iHOP with fire
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
