Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
