I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Everything about him screamed your future.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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