Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
