Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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