So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
