I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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