i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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