Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
