I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
