Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
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