And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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