lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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