whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Sponge bath it is.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
