Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
