I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Can you bring me the toilet please
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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