Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
