hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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