You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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