Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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