Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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