so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
