there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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