well you can't waste a boner
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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