and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
