Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
