walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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