it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
