I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
