dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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