I was born with a shot glass in my hand
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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