We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
it was like eating out sand paper
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
