Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
