Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
