how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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