let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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