i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
