I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize